Twilight

Why?

2009-12-17T09:23:00.000-08:00

I never knew the dangers and consequences of cancer. I didn't really care abt it.
Yeah i've heard abt it, like how it was the no.1 killer in singapore and all tt.

Not until my grandma got diagnosed with it. Yeah, so what, she has cancer? She's old.
That's what many people think.

We were too late.

"Colon Cancer. 4th stage. Spread to liver. Tumour has been there for a year."the doctors said.
What do you do when you hear this? jus abt 1-2 months before your 0levels.
Yes, it may not be ur father, or your mother,or siblings, or even yourself, but was your grandma, who is diagnosed with cancer , who was all along living with you since you were a baby, taking care of you and being like a 2nd mother to you. Came back home everyday from school, and the first face you see is your grandma.
You couldn't imagine that she was going to die.

My grandma passed away on 13 december, at 11.30pm
She wasn't supposed to die. She's 76, but she was so strong, we all knew how strong she was. She's supposed to live longer.
Now, i realised that i've been lying to myself that i already had accepted long time ago.
Because, i can't believe she's gone.
I miss her so much.
Simply, i jus can't accept it.

Taking care of a cancer patient isn't easy. Some families struggle to take care and sometimes put them in the hospice. Seriously, it isn't easy at all.
Its difficult to put into words. And i'm not saying that its a burden. I'm jus so thankful i got to see her till the very end.

But its a disadvantage as well.
I have the image of her when she was dying,rather than she was her good old self, walking around the hse and being so independent and strong.
I'm truamatised. She died by vomitting out blood. And not just blood, but thick reddish brownish blood clots that seemed to me like spoiled blood. She was so thin, so fragile. I really do not want to rmb her that way. I try very hard to.
Someone told me, you'll never be able to forget that image of her while she was going to die. It'll stick with you forever, and yes, its true.

Why did she have to suffer like this? She couldn't eat much and her carbohydrate intake had to stop.
Her kidney stopped functioning on saturday, and she started coughing out blood on sat night.
So that was it.
The cancer cells had spread to the kidney and to the lungs. She only had 1-2 days left.

Paati, i can't take it. I'm going to be alone in this house w/o you here. I can't smell your delicious mouth watering food that you'll be cooking in the kitchen while i'm in the room using the computer, anymore.

On the bright side, she didn't suffer long. There are people who took 80mls of morphine a day, while my granny only took 5 ml.
Yes she did hallucinated, but mostly the things she saw,were actually signs that she was going to go rather than the hallucinations itself.

I'm glad u don't have to suffer anymore.

Paati, you looked so pretty and young in th blue saari during your funeral. Its the royal blue saari you've always wanted but couldn't get in singapore. Hindu traditions, they usually bath the body like the gods before sending off for cremation.
And paati, you got 9 different kinds of water(which is EXACTLY the way they bath the gods).
You got cow's milk, whic is so HOLY to indians. Other people got goat's milk from the shops that were sold in the packets and you got real milk directly from the cow. We were all very happy for you paati.
Your husband,who was my grandpa, was one hell of a big shot in those days back then. The casket guy saw his photo, and so decided to do it grandly for you. You are very lucky paati, even though you may be a cancer patient.
You were so strong and you fought till the very last end. I look up to you, cuz i respect you for all the good things you have done and how much you have endured and perservered.

I'll miss your cooking.
I'll miss your smell.
I'll miss your cuteness.
I'll miss you buying so many cute PJs for me.
I'll miss you listening to the radio and getting all kinds of natural tips to make the face smoother,then you'll do themxture for me and it always worked..
I'll miss you scolding and nagging at me.
I'll miss making fun of you.
I'll miss not talking to you.
I'll miss you buying lacy undies for me.
I'll miss you keeping company with me in the hse while the rest are at work.
I'll miss talking about your past life with you.
I'll miss you scolding the actors and actresses on the TV.
I'll miss not getting fashion advice from you(she has a very good taste).
I'll miss you not tying the ribbon on the back of my dresses cuz you did it perfectly.
I'll miss comparing our heights since i was young.
I'll miss you not feeding me cuz i hated to eat by myself.
I'll miss you not checking my fish if there were any bones in it.
I'll miss not tying up ur hair and putting my butterfly clips for decoration wen you were ill with cancer.
I'll miss not taking care of you.
I'll miss not holding your hand.
I'll miss your face.

I'll miss EVERYTHING abt you.

Now who is going to take care of me and do all those things for me?
Iknow, people are old, and they have to go some day or another, but why now? Why this way?
I never really understood.
I'll continue to pray for your peace and that you watch over us.
Yes, it wouldn't be the same in the hse w/o u, but
I'll be strong for you cuz i know you wouldn't want us mourning for you. You wld have wanted us to be happy and move on.
Now you can go up to heavan and cook for everybody there ( quoted by Bryan )

I'm, or we're very sorry we couldn't tell you that u had cancer. At least you knew that you have a lump that cannot be cured and that it will keep spreading. I'm sorry that you had to have the stoma bag, but accepted it, like how you always accepted anything and drank any disgusting medicines just to get well.
You worried so much for your children and grandchildren, now you don't ahve to, cuz we're all so grown up and will always rmb our loving, cute and caring grandma. You always cooked what i asked for and helped me taste if my spaghetti sauce was alright.Then you wld help me wash all the pots.
You ccared about my well being and even offered to watch my dirty shoes for olevels, even though you were alr sick. You cared about EVERYTHING.

I love you paati.
And my grandma was smiling as she left us.

And to those who read my blog, i'll be closing my blog soon. Ok, actually, i'm jus gonna close it to public. I'm gonna make my blog private and only ME have access to it. I'll be doing it SOON.

Ciao!

Seized to remember

2009-11-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

Freaking blogger. I can't upload any pics! Its taking an extremely long time to upload even just 1 photo.

Jas extended her holiday to Sunday.
Varsha is in Hong Kong.
Shini is going to NewZealand in a few days time.
Pigs.
Hope to go out soon, i'm so bored at home!

But i have my sims 2 to entertain myself. I'm still in a daze about new moon. Can't wait to watch it again! ********_______********

I'm going to play my sims2 now. Ciao!
Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for your frankness and not being submissive.
Thank God i found you. Thank You,BestFriend.

Free-ed

2009-11-14T07:09:00.000-08:00

Sorrry for not updating so long.
been so busy.
Busy enjoying my life!!!

OLEVELS ARE FUCKING OVER BABEYYYY!!!

But still, this isn't the end. Its a 1 step closer to a stressful adult life. Thing is, i still wanna be a kid. Still wanna be a kid going to playgrounds and doing all kinds of silly and uncivilised things.
Hahaha.
Oh well.I hope the world ends like 2012. Die early better.

Gotta look for job soon. Waiting for Preeto to come back. I owe my mum 200 bucks. I spent way too much ! I feel so bad spending away all her money.

Prom is over, and Bryan and myself won. Didn't think we wld! Well it was a good experience.
Its 4am now. Manju is staying over at my place,
and we jus watched new moon!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAAAA!

My frens are so gonna kill me. Sorry guys!
It was a last min thing!!

Anw, NEW MOON was just awesome i tell you! I thought it was. Except the ending part. They fucked it up.Shld have added more scenes. bloody fuckers.
But eclipse is coming out next year in June so its ok~!

I'm hooked on the sims2 now. Continuing my addiction since pri sch.
Ciao!
That's just the way it is. You can never trust anyone fully. Not even your best friend.

Eyes Like Sea Grass

2009-11-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

No Energy left.
But still...

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]


This song speaks how i truly feel right now.

The Light House

2009-11-06T10:04:00.000-08:00

Taste of Freedom

So, i said i'll be back on the 12, but today is already part 1 of slacking and enjoying!

Cuz the section B papers are alr over! Left the miserable, pathetic MCQs to complete.
Went to watch Jennifer's Body today wif Jas.
Ok, the movie sucked, like big time. But then again, Megan Fox was scrumptiously, fuckin hot.
Can't wait till next week wen all of the ladies can all go out together!

Os so far ok...
screwed my chem section B.
Got some hope for Amath.
Abit scared for Emath all of a sudden.
Humanities, hope my SBQ can make it.

Hmmm, Hope to get 16 pts and below for L1R4 at least. I'll be happy enough, really. Not really aiming high la.
Been tinking of doing a list for things to do, looking forward to do and things to buy during the many months of the holidays. Here goes.
And it isn't in order.

On top of everything, is to find my true identity.

1. GMax on the 12th, to scream the joy out of our lungs
2. Sentosa, Beach!
3. Science Centre! (Too bad Pra!)
4. Prom Shopping!
5. Jurong East
6. Varsha's aunty's sentosa hse!
7. Major slacking in the sentosa hse!
8. Bra shopping
9. Clothes
10. Clothes
11. Clothes
12. Clothes
13. Clothes
14. Clothes
15. Clothes
16. Shoes/heels
17. NEW MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
18. Clear barbie doll cabinet
19. Get contact lenses
20. Do something wif my hair
21. Work!
22. Visit Red Cross
23. Plans wif RC frens

And this isn't completed.

Too late i guess?

2009-10-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

I wanna rewind to that partyyy~

I'M OFFICIALLY FUCKED.

Not literally of course. =_='
Olevels starting on Monday.
Today marks the day i stop using the computer till ITS over.
Quite late huh?
But yeah, i gotta put a full stop to the shit i've been doing.
I gotta stop hovering ard the com.

So goodbye social life!
I'll be back on the 12 of Nov.
Can't wait.

U are better off

2009-10-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

You always have a choice.

O's coming. like ard 2 weeks time.
Nvm, there's nth left that i can do, but jus study and put in my fullest effort into this to put up for all my shit.
I ignored everything bad happening ard me. It works. But the question is... After O's.
Wad am i gonna do and how i'm gonna handle it? I haven't thought of it.

Anw, i jus felt like putting up all my role model celebrities here. Hahaha.

Amy Lee from evanescence.
Many people say u're ugly and old. But u have an incredible and natural voice that i love.

Beyonce.
Top 10 most beautiful women. Another natural voice, + hot bod + beautiful face

Tyra Banks.
Ook, she's bimbo, but hey, she models beautifully. Her photoshoots are my fav cuz its always so unique.

Kat Von D FTW!!
The lovely tatoos.
Wish i could get one, but my mum will kill me!

And of course, how can i ever forget my all time favourite?!!!!

LADY GAGA!!

Many people say u're weird, but i still love you! U have made a mark on my heart! (I'm not les)

OK, that was totally random. Ciao!

I jus realised.
I've been threading water instead of drowning in it.

That's the way it is

2009-09-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hello fuck face~

The seconds are ticking by.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

No, this can't be it.

Everything's slipping away from me.
Then again, i failed to realise that nth is perfect.
Everything has a reason for the way it works, or why its happened.

Its the last lap.

Flashbacks

2009-09-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

WTF?
WTF ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE.

KBS, STOP THINKING. STOP REWINDING.
FAST FORWARD.
(The little voice in my head says, "are you sure?". Well, SHUT THE FUCK UP)

There's no other person better than to trust urself. But wad happens when you don't possess that trust?
I'm still finding for the/an answer.

So Fantastico!

2009-09-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

There's somethin here,
so jus tell me everythin..

Been surfing the net, to catch up on latest gossip!

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta AKA Lady Gaga

Just watched her VMA performance and it was totally AWESOME!!
I loved it, LOVE HER!
She had like 4-5 costumes just for the Video Music Awards.

1st costume

2nd, i dun really like this, its fucking scary.

3rd, a seashell. Love it.

4th costume, love her dress, not her head stuff.

She had a fifth, which looked like a lion in an eskimo suit.

Well, her VMA performance was great, if u haven't watched it, u should kill urself.

She actually wanted to walk the red carpet with a lion. And also have a chandelier drop on her during her performance.

I think she's really creative on how she does stuff...and her clothes...
She sang paparazzi cuz of Princess Diana, how she died in a car crash cuz of the paparazzis chasing her.

Lady Gaga, Many people think u're weird, but i love the way you are!
She is officially my biggest idol.

TWILIGHT SAGA

Seems like these are the new borns in eclipse.
I'm thinking to myself " WOAH, so fast planning for eclipse alr?"

3rd Trailer of New Moon

All trailers combined together, 6.5 mins THE OFFICIAL

I'm excited, hysterical. I can't wait for New Moon. I feel my blood vessels vibrating.

BUT

Now, i gotta get back to mugging my Os.
I've never felt so alone in my life before.

I'm through with all the bullshit

2009-09-13T02:58:00.000-07:00

It CUTS~

I'm accepting, and not retaliating.
Would anyone normal do what i've done?
No, i really dun tink so...Never heard of it.

How much longer?

2009-09-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

All this time...
I've been such a loser.

I feel like drinking with my friends, and partying the whole night, just going crazy and wild.
This craving to do something stupid, wild and
Different.
But then again, i think i've gone crazy.

Why can't i explain this tormenting feeling?
I'm messed up, pretty more like fucked up.

Is that too much ask for?

2009-08-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

Pirate ships and mermaids~

Ytd night, i dream that i was with Edward Cullen and his vampire family. I was in Bella's place, so i was still me, same face, same hair, same everything.
We were all on a mission to kill Victoria and James. James wasn't after me, and dun ask me why we had to kill them, i dunno why too.
And guess what, Victoria was Britney Spears! She was on a motorbike, with a snake ard her neck(Britney's signature).
We were gonna fight her.

The phone rang and disrupted my dream. I tried going back to sleep, so that i can get back to where i was in the dream.
Instead, i had a different dream

Abt graduation, actually be4 graduation. Divya and Varsha were in it.
We were picking clothes at this masquerade place.And Varsha picked a skeleton costume. And Divya picked out this transparent costume. I forgot wad's mine.

I've gone crazy.

Maybe i should jus drop the act. But then again, it was how everyone saw me as.
Why her? Why? I can't afford to lose her. Please my lord, let a miracle happen.

Its not THE END

2009-08-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

To bring Yesterday back to NOW~

The Prelims.
Yes, indeed it was sucky to the core, but it taught it me a great lesson. Something that i shld have learned long time ago. Never to study last min. Well wadever, i'm gonna work my ass off now. And by the end of the olevels, i'll be on the floor begging for mercy.
Ok NO, that will never happen. Even if i've gone mad, i'll stil rmb the FREEDOM that i'm gonna taste after the Os.

MT O'levels results.
B3, Oral - Merit.
I'm happy enough. Expected a B4 and a PASS for Oral. But hey, i achieved my goal.
Its a relief, that 1 subject is finally done.

These past few days, have been mugging at the CC with Gunball Machine(Jas) and Munchkin(Divya). Prelims ended today, and Div, Jas, Varsha, Jehvan and myself went to play catching at the carpark. The fats from all those late night snacks were burning up.

Lots of photos taken! Upload some once i get hold of them.

My mind is blank. I can't think properly.

Craving for good acoustic music.

I thought i cld. I'm alone in this sinking boat.

Stiched my heart, and then broke it.

2009-08-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

I'm SO done over you.

Finally Prelims are over for the week. But not TOTALLY over.
ENG O'level Oral and MT results - 19th August

On Friday, went for the funeral mass, den visited BSRCY for a while den to Kesh's hse.

Never ever go for a church funeral mass. They keep rubbing it in. It was really heart breaking.
But in a way, it was touching as well, as the whole point of it was to send them off to God.
Hope they'll rest in peace.

The new NCOs.
From the way i see it, you guys are gonna make it. Really am proud of you guys.

I was feeling rather down after the mass.
So decided i shall go join the rest in partying!
So went to Kesh hse, studied a while, and got ready to go for the sangeet(Well not me, Kesh had to dress up cuz loover boy was going to be there).
Pra then came, and walked to Khalsa to join Jaspreet. I had fun, and i'm sure Kesh had the best night of her life!
(No dun worry, Kesh did not lose her virginity)
HAHA. Photos still yet to come from Jas.

Taylor Swift - Crazier

I never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
'Til you open the door there's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground you spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling
And I, I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier

I watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my feet off the ground you spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling
And I, I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier
Oh-oh...

Baby you showed me what living is for
I don't want to hide anymore...or-or...

You lift my feet off the ground you spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling
And I, I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier
Crazier crazier

I've been singing this song to myself for very long. Just when i was gonna tell you tt i was ready, and that
i was done living in the past, you poured the news over me.
The news i was praying that will never come.
I hoped the news that i anticipated was just me, being pessimistic.
I rmb, how you always told me to be optimistic.
But now? How cld i remain optimistic?

Yes, i dun believe every word you say abt it. Why?
Why don't you ask yourself.

The first time she came down this year, you wrote in ur MSN. "__ days to the arrival".
That time, when i asked you, you said its nothing, for fun.
Ok, so fine then.

NOW, when i told u why i alr knew, i told you all the reasons including the MSN thingy.
And you said yes, that time when she first came, your feelings came back too.
In church during the funeral mass, i alr knew.
After mass, the way you rushed, i alr knew.
When u didn't even leave an sms, i alr knew.
they way u spoke to me at night, i alr knew.
I already knew.

The words keep repeating in my head. I never did blame you, never angry with you.
Now u know how it feels.
Let me tell you this.
You'll never forget her. Beacause of the way things ended.
You'll keep thinking abt it, and many IFs will
be in ur questions and thoughts. And lastly....
I do not know if i can live with this.

You may say its so ironic, but i knew my priorities, and i knew what i wanted, i
wasn't selfish.
Thank you, for INDIRECTLY telling me that i was the obstacle all along. Just to let you know,
i'll do anything to help you get her, if you still can't forget her, even if it means i leave you.
That's jus the way i am. I'm sorry.
I shed tears everytime i think abt it, i can't speak of it to anyone.
I'll never ever tell you how much you've hurt me, cuz
i know i've hurt you too.
But this hurt i'm feeling, is a different kind...

Ojalá pudiera morir, por lo que tendrá una oportunidad con ella de nuevo. Lo siento por sentirse de esta manera. no puedo evitarlo.
I'm invinsible.

Daaa Dooo Just Dance!

2009-08-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

I badly wanna go for gaga's concert to scream and dance the night away to relieve all the tensions and anger in me.

But it doesn't help that Prelims are next week. I'm gonna do badly.
I wished i was more confident in everything that i did/do. I never ever had or experienced that Confidence before.
Screw the prelims, i'm doomed!

I'm helpless, i wanna scream. I do not know what else to do than cry.
I know, i'm sucha cry baby.
This heavy weight on me, can't it lighten?
I wish i had a place of sanctuary, of my own.
Thank you all, to those who wished me Happy Birthday and those gifts and the card.
Thank you mum, dad and grandma.
And lots of love to my dearest sis. I loved the card, and the gifts. I love you<3

Feel the Heat

2009-08-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

And you swept me off my feet~

I have got no bloody idea wad am i doing here when Prelims are starting tmr. WTF am i thinking.

I can't breathe. My mind is everywhere.
How can i expect to get an answer, when i am not even giving one?!

Trapped in this ape shit.

Its killing me slowly...

The Farewell~

2009-08-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

I can't explain how much i love you~

You guys made it all possible. I can never forget the times we shared.
There has been many disputes, many misunderstandings, but we overcame them together.
Though we may not be close anymore, i hope we'll still be in contact, cuz this friendship i had/have, i god damn can't let it go.
Sorry for times i may have shown attitude or stress you all out.
I'm here, saying this,

The memories, are all permanently inscribed in my heart. No matter how many years down the road, you guys are way up in my heart.
So Goodbye, and i hope we'll meet again, just to look back at the memories, chat, and bring those memories back to the present.

NCO COMMITTEE 09

Thank You for the Advanced Bday cake.

And thank you for the Advanced 2nd Bday cake,

Thank you to everyone, who make up the name,
RED CROSS.

Thank You, Mr Subra, Mdm Chua, Ms Lim and Miss Ong.

Thank You, Varsha, Zhi Wei, Alson, Shini, Gwen and Josephine.

Thank you Buva and Rayvaithi.

Thank You, Kenyon, Naveen, Gui Feng, Jia Xin, Wei Ming.

And of course, Thank You, Guo Ying, Shanice, Jia Yi, Wei Qiang, Amira, Shi Min
for helping me and having faith in me these few years.

Not forgetting too.
Thank You, Bryan, Jaspreet, Keshini and Praseedha, for always helping me through my cries and whines, and believing and supporting me in Red Cross.

Congragulations to the new Committee!!
Kenyon, Naveen, Gui Feng, Jia Xin, Wei Ming, Wen Hao, Jasmine and Mithilesh.

Thank You to ALL OF YOU, for making this years in Red Cross such a blissful one. The best experience anyone can ever get. I can never ask for anything BETTER THAN THIS.

And this is/was the

"Time Of My Life"

CrackHead

2009-07-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

These words don't mean anything~

I need space to breathe.
I wanna give up. Just for now.
Its a stupid reason. But i do not know any other way.
I REALLY do not know.
Or maybe "I do not know" is just my answer to everything.

I wanna run away to a faraway place and never come back.
I wish i had wings, so i could hide in them and no one will find me.

But, how?
How could i just leave everything behind?

"Your words felt like a knife. Stay with me, or watch me bleed."
So tell me,

How could I?

Every Minute
Every Second
its driving me Insane.

Put Your boots On

2009-07-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

The heart feels heavy.

I'm lost. Really lost.
I wanna scream, and cry out loud and SCREAM MORE.
I do not know which path to take. My mind is everywhere, scribbling all over.
It can't be.

I shiver. Hyperventilate. And cry.

That compressing feeling, is pulling me under.
I'm afraid.
That i might never resurface.

I shld have never agreed, IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The last straw

2009-07-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

I want a Free Fall~

The feeling is just drowning me into misery.
All that i had hoped for.
I didn't ever regretted doing all the stuff, even though it was a heavy weight pressing onto me.
The thing is, noone will understand, a __________'s feelings for the things they do, or why even.
Noone will understand the sacrifice we make, and the pains when other people discriminate us.
I didn't just talk, i did prove through actions, fighting for what i really wanted.
I'm beginning to think whether maybe I'm only one who felt/feel this way.

It will be the last time i wear my Uniform, and proudly leave it, FOR GOOD.

Just skipalong - Lenka

2009-07-07T02:23:00.000-07:00

Not anymore~

Friday night was FUN. Danced till midnight till my legs were soar.
And of course, thanks Kesh for inviting us.

It was perfect, all 5 of us could make it.

Tmr, Tamil Oral O'level. Nerve wrecking.
Aleluya!!
Imagine what i'll be saying when Olevels are the next day...

The fire extinguished. And maybe that's when i stopped trying to strive.
For i know what will be the end.
The cause for this uncertainties and doubts,
I do not know.
Or maybe, i just DON'T wanna know.
Why don't u just skipalong, says Lenka.
Truth is,
I'm not sure if i can...

What would you do if u cld go back time?

2009-06-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

~If it wasn't for you....

Michael Jackson's dead. Why do all the famous and great people have to die so early? He'll always be the greatest singer, of course. He was the first ever pop singer i knew since i started listening to music. He'll always remain in my heart. R.I.P - MJ

I'm in love with the transformers soundtrack by Linkin Park. Linkin Park is my all time first known and FAVOURITE rock band ever.

Linkin Park - New Divide

I remember black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
and your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies, across this new divide

There was nothing insight, the memory's left abandoned
There was no where to hide, the ashes fell like snow
and the ground caved in between where we were standing
and your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes, across this new divide

(Instrumental)

In every loss, in every lie,
In every truth that you deny,
and each regret and each goodbye were some mistakes you pray to hide
and your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies, across this new divide

Across this new divide
Across this new divide

So Friday, which was the last weekday of the June Hols, Wemt to watch Transformers with Pra and Shini.

IT WAS FREAKING HELL AWESOME!
And i loved it. I can't believe the ratings were so low, whole stinking crap of bullshitters.
We were still in a trance after the movie.

Took many photos, i only posted some here, the memory is too big and it takes a long long time to be posted up here. Some in my facebook alr. =D

As we all know alr, time is flying by very fast.

As we all know alr, time is flying by very fast.
I need to get my ass to my books now and study.

It is really confusing.

You have no Power

2009-06-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

It's times like this u start reminiscing on the past~

I finally went for a swim on Friday, jus couldn't take it.
I've been eating Mac Everyday, then KFC for dinner. Felt like a greedy pig and bloated.
I've focused to losing the fats and getting muscles.
Yes i can do that,
but no focus on my studies? Ironic SHIT.

Went metro (winks*winks*) in the evening, and also threaded my eyebrows. The lady i always go to, said my eyebrow were one up and down?!
Bought lotsa hair bands.

And to entertain my boring life, i've been watching Ryan Higa's videos again, and others as well by mad TV and etc. HEHE.

Mad TV - Flashlights

You so gotta be 'clean' if u don't GET IT.
There's a part which many missed it, it shows that the black guy has a longer dick, than the asian guy.
It IS hilarious.

Niga HIga - Rant on Korean Dramas

The best video ever by him!! I kept watching it OVER and OVER again!!
CHIIIIINGG CHIIINGG
There's one part, where ke kept saying "buck buck....", if i'm not wrong, it mean idiot in either Jap or Korean. And the language isn't real at all, but it sounded so REAL to me.

Harry Potter parody. Ryan Higa's in it, Try spotting!
This is another hilrious shit video!

And i'm out!

Who are you kidding?! Really!

2009-06-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

Faith, trust and pixiedust.
No, Wait.
REPHRASE.
Faith, Trust and a big tight SLAP.

My English isn't very good.

All u let them see is your mask
Drowned in your own lies
No one else
You never took them to task
You just let them took over you

You expected it to happen, positive or negative.
Probably wanted it to happen?
Such that you MADE it happen.

It was all your fault.
Well, now then, your expectations are fulfilled.
It is then, dwelling in the process of
SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
Longed for a fresh wave of serenity.
But wad use is there, when unknowingly you longed for THIS?
You know that you've got everybody fooled.

Your mind seems wholly taken up by reminiscence of past
Stop crying your heart out, cuz noone will hear you.

Ok, i'll cut it out.
I dunno why...Just suddenly...

I feel bloated, i wanna exercise, SWIM!

Incluso cuando todos están alrededor, dentro de es todavía vacío y sofocado.